Friendship?!

Over the last few months I have been thinking a lot about this subject. Friendship is an amazing, confusing, frustrating and wonderful thing.

When you are young your friends are those who have a toy you want to play with, those who live within walking distance, like the same types of candy or whose parents are willing to babysit. When you are a child a lot of your friends are chosen by your parents. If your parents like their parents an instant friendship is made.

At elementary age you are geting older and you start finding things you enjoy doing. You haven't fully learned yet how to multi-task or schedule your time between multiple things so you (in a way) become obessed with that one thing. From there your friends seem to be those who are also obessed with that one thing. For me it was sports, softball and basketball to be more specific. I found those friends who would carry me through late elementary years, junior high and into high school.

Ahh, high school, the scary, self-conscious, and just out right confusing time of your life. Here you are just begining to figure out who you are, and what you like. This is a time in your life when you are torn between your past and your future.

Your past: those friends who have been with since your parents made your play dates, those friends who also were obessed with that one thing. You still care for the person and the memories, but your likes are starting to take different paths. You start to become torn between the memories and the future ahead.

Your future: those friends who seem to fully understand the person you are starting to become, they understand what you are going through and can listen to your inner most thoughts and not judge you. These are the friends that you see in your future, sitting next to you at graduation, waking up early to say good-bye in your driveway as you drive off to college, visit you at your school in between breaks, and stand next to you at your wedding. These friends share your fears about growing up, and moving on to college.

College comes, right on time, yet too quickly. You are more than ready to "grow up", but not ready to leave those friends you found in high school. You are embarking on a new adventure, new life, new you. You think you know exactly who you are when you enter college. But what you don't know is that college is the place where you finally become loving of and confindent in who you are. College is where you know what you like, what you don't, who you enjoy spending time with and who you don't. You understand that not everyone has to be your friend, that you don't have to like everyone and they don't have to like you... all of this is okay! Here you become more picky about who you spend your time with. You now don't just want them to understand you, you want them to fully get you. They say in college you make "lifetime" friends. I think this is because you have finally learned what to look for in a "friend soul-mate." Much like dating, throughout the years you have learned what works for you and what doesn't, what you need and want in a friend. In college is where you start in impart that wisdom.

Graduation comes and adulthood looms. By now it is harder to make friends. It seems like everyone has their life, has their friends, their circle. In years past everyone was walking that line... that line that leads to adulthood. Lines are easy to intersect and make friends, circles - not so much. But they are still there, those few people who fully get you. It is in adulthood that you learn some friends are meant to come and go, and some will always be around. This is the time of your life when you learn who your true friends really are.

Friendship is it's own kind of love.

Family is chosen for you. You have an unconditional love for them, you take them for granted b/c you know, no matter what they will always be there for you.

Partner/Spouse is a love that never fades, it is always there in someway. You chose this person partly because nature tells you to, because pharamones tell you that you would mate well together. You see a future, a life with them. But you are slightly hesitant because you know this love can diminish, it is a bond brought one slightly by circumstance and slightly by timing. Distance can effect it, time not speaking can effect it.

Friendship is it's own kind of love.

Short friendships exisit throughout your life. You love these people and just because the friendships are short does not mean they were any less valuable. Some people are meant to stay in your life for a short period of time. You needed them when they came into your life (for whatever reason) and you slowly gained your love, appreciation, and knowledge from them.. Then it was time to move on and share all of that somewhere else/with someone else. This is okay, this is the cylce of friendship.

Then there is the lifetime "soul-mate" friendships. You chose this person. You continued to keep them in your life no matter what life throws at you. Distance doesn't fade it. You can go from talking everyday to once every one or two months, but it is like no time at all has passed, you pick up right where you left off. This person is like a family member you have chosen. But in ways it is a healthier relationship. There is no taking this person for granted because deep down you know that they don't HAVE to stick around, but the love seems unconditional. These people are meant to be with you forever. You continue to need them, to lean on them, to learn from them. These people are your true soul-mates!

This is not all exact, people can cross lines, be your lifetime soul-mates, but also your family. That is what friendships is, confusing, frustrating, exhilerating and amazing!

I have been lucky, I have those friends that I have carried with me since elementary, junior high, high school, college and adult life. I have family that I consider great friends. I have those friends I am no longer close with, but with age have been able to reflect on those friendships and fully realize what they taught me.
Different people/friends seem to come into your life and leave your life just at the right times. This seems like it must be choreographed in someway, but it is just the cycle of FRIENDSHIP!

The C word!

So as many of you know I work for the American Cancer Society. I hear the word CANCER on a daily basis. I hear stories of loved ones being diagnosed, loved ones battling, loved ones winning and loved ones losing on a daily basis. I see amazing and beautiful people who give hours upon hours to Fight Back against this disease on a daily basis. I have to tell myself on a daily basis that everything we are doing is working, that HOPE is prevailing.  I dig deep and access my HOPE on a daily basis.

But non of this makes it any eaiser to hear that someone you know and love has been diagnosed with cancer, yet along two people. By hitting one person, this diesease touches many, many towns, many cities, many states, many continents, many people!

What saddens me is that this small 5 letter word has the power to take so much. It takes time, tears, worries, moments, and worst of all HOPE.  Two wonderful people in my life have been hit by this recently. This little word is trying to take my HOPE. A HOPE that I have spent years building, a HOPE that took many stories, that took me meeting many survivors to build.

I will not let this happen. My HOPE is stronger than it has ever been. I am making a vow now, I will not lose my HOPE! I will not let this small word take my worries, my moments! Cancer will NOT hold power in my life.

Cancer, YOU SUCK! This is MY time, MY HOPE and you CANNOT have ANY of it! So why don't you MAKE LIKE A TREE AND LEAVE! 

"We all have the potential to get cancer, and we all have the potential to help cure it." ~This was given to me by a wonderful, beautiful friend and co-worker.