Silence and Relay ...

                 The Maine coast line - Walker's Beach - 

5 min drive from where I grew up and my favorite place in Maine.

Amanda, Sam, Arlo and Otis have headed off on a trip to Maine. Matt stayed here, he couldn't get away with work. Yes, she is crazy and we all know this. 3 boys all 6 and under, in a car... oh did I forget to mention she is driving (see crazy) for a two day drive to Maine. She did get a little smarter and brought her babysitter/good friend's daughter with her. Lindsay will help occupy the boys while in the car and watch them once in Maine. This is a great experience for Lindsay, she is 13, traveling away from her parents, through Canada to a state she has never been for 10 days. I am a bit jealous. I love going back to Maine, there are a lot of good friends I miss there. And I love showing new people "my" state. Most of all I am jealous because they are all on vacation during the hardest two weeks of the year at work.

Since I have been living here Matt, and Amanda have taken the boys on trips twice and the quiet has always been welcomed with open arms. Like I stated in my last post, it has been a transition moving in with a family of 5. I knew this time I would be working a lot and I thought what better time for them to go. I could work late hours and not feel bad about not seeing the boys. The past two nights I haven't been home before 8 and once I got home I came straight to my room. But once I am up here I find myself wondering: "Where are they?" " How did the day go?" "What exciting things did they see?" etc...etc.

They really could not have picked a better 10 days to go away. I have back to back Relays. I am quickly approaching my third Relay of the season (tomorrow at 3pm it starts, I start at 10:30am tomorrow). The end of this season feels near yet so far. Last year I had 4 Relays in 3 weekends, it was fast yet furious. I think I like that schedule better. You have no time to think, no time to realize how tired you are, until it is all over. And then it is all over so you can just take a breath and relax.

 Luminaria at a Relay spelling out why we Relay - HOPE

As much as Relays have my heart and my passion. They are exhausting. But it never fails, just when I think I can't go anymore, when I am in a gym after evacuating all participants from the track due to tornado warnings, at 2am and I am ready to call it in and send everyone home, I look up and see a survivor in their purple shirt walking the track, pushing hard. I remember why I got involved, why I do this.

I decided back in March of 2007, 3 months after my mother lost her battle, that I needed to Fight this disease. I needed to fight for all the people, who like my mother, never had a chance or opportunity to fight back because the disease took them too quickly.

Every day at work I have my stresses, I get frustrated, annoyed, and angry. I have heightened emotions because of my love and passion for the cause. I have had plenty of jobs where I didn't care what happened on a daily basis. Here I care!

Tomorrow is the Relay For Life of Mason. This year is a new and exciting year for them. In this, their 13th year, they have changed locations and Relay will be around the town square. I am excited to see this event take place, I am proud of all my volunteers involved in making this transition and I am glad that I will only have one more left at Saturday. WAHOOO!

 

The first luminaria bag I ever made for my mother.

Stop thinking and Jump!

So for quite some time now I have been thinking about writing a blog. My sister, Amanda Grieshop, does it, my cousin, Shannon Stoler, does it so why not me? But I had nothing to blog about. Both Amanda and Shannon started their blog's when they were having their first child. That is NOT happening. I have another friend who started blogging b/c she was engaged and wanted to chronicle the process of planning a wedding. Nope not happening either.
That is when it hit me. Just blog about being me. People may not want to read it, but come on does anyone really blog for others anymore? No! It is about talking about yourself, getting your thoughts out and who really cares if people read it (but please, read it.)

So then came the contemplation of a title. Meg's life sounds egotistical and boring...trust me I live it... boring! When I started to contemplate my life, I found only one thing has been consistent...BIG changes. Changes that I have taken by closing my eyes, holding my breath and just jumping.

First, my move to North Carolina. I lived there for four years, loved most of my time there, made some great friends. Most of whom, I hope, will read this blog.

Second, my move back to Maine. This was a decision that required no thinking at all. When my mom got sick, it was knee jerk reaction that got me there. Once there I made the best of it. It wasn't where I had pictured myself living, but I started to enjoy myself. Again, made some great friends, and reconnected with some old ones, who I hope read this blog.

Third, finding and taking the career of my dreams. Since day one of volunteering for the American Cancer Society I knew working for them was where I needed to be. When the job came open, on paper, it looked like a bad decision. Not much more money, longer hours, further from home (a 1 hour commute, each way) but again, just jumped. And am very glad I did.

Fourth, my final (I hope) move, this time to Michigan. It had been more years than I can count since my sister and I had lived in the same state. An opportunity came up with the American Cancer Society, in the same city she lives in, so I jumped and took it.

I have been here for almost 6 months now and I have really been enjoying myself. To say it was an easy transition would be a lie. The job is great, adjusting to the different ways some things are done has been rough. Going from living alone, to living with a family of 5, rough. Missing my friends, volunteers, co-workers, very rough. Having fun in the park, family walks, t-ball games, spring recitals, Slip 'n' Slide days followed by bed time nights makes every rough patch just a little smoother.

Jump in number five is approaching. I am looking to buy a house. I thought the process would be fun. Looking inside other people's homes, picturing myself there, starting my life. All fun things to do. When you factor in money, down payments, offers, resale, repainting, water in the basement, repairs, two car garages, one car garages, no garages, futures, 30 year futures, predicting the future... it all just gets to be too much. But the dream keeps it going, the idea of living in my own place, being a permanent fixture, painting interiors walls IS an option (without having to repaint all white in less than one year), seeing a place where a future can be built, keeps me going.

As I keep going, I will keep posting. Whoever may be out there... Bueller, Bueller... I hope keeps reading!