'Tis the season!

Well, 'tis the season for friends, family and a whole lot of stress. In case you couldn't tell by how long it has been since I last posted, things have been a bit busy around here.

I had enough time in my vacation bank at work to take the week of Thanksgiving and most of the month  of December off. Here I thought that meant plenty of time to relax and live stress free....what was I thinking? Of course, most of the stress was brought on by me. I figured with most of the December off I would get bored just staying here in Lansing, so I booked a flight to Maine. I wanted to see everyone who I left almost exactly a year ago. The trip was anything but relaxing. I never slept in one bed for longer than 2 days. I went from being in Mass visitng my Massachusetts family to staying with Emily, Robbie, Elijah and new baby Alex, to staying with my Dad and then heading to PA to visit my Grandmother.

Baby and  Momma

It was great to finally get to meet Alex and see what a great mother Emily is. I always knew she would be fantastic at raising her children, and she has done a great job with Elijah, but watching her motherly instinct take over with Alex was beautiful.

                                                      Big Brother and Little Brother!

I rented a car and was able to head down to The American Cancer Society's Tophsam Maine office... (my old office) and "work" for a day. It was a little surreal, awkward and fun all at the same time. Hard to explain, at times it felt like old times, others I felt a little out of the loop, but then it also felt great to see everyone again. I don't think I will ever "work" from that office again, but meeting everyone for lunch will always be a definate. I went to my old apartment building, met my old neighbor for dinner. That was just like old times, sitting in Bethany's apartment just chatting.

A bunch of family friends came by for a huge dinner. I think we had like 10-12 people around my father's dinning room table. I am not sure that many people had ever been around that table. There was hardly room to eat. But it was a fun evening. I got to see them all again, they got to meet Jen, and I was able to experience the art of Jack Pelzer and his story telling...that never gets old. For you who have never met Jack, I could not begin to help you understand how hilarious, detailed and great Jack's stories are, but trust me they are an experience. For you that know Jack....well, you FULLY understand.

Shorly after that my father, Jen and I packed up the van and drove to PA to stay with my grandmother for what was supposed to be 2 full days. Due to weather we had to leave a day early... and I can't say that made me sad. At this point I was very ready to be back in my own house, my own bed and my own town... back home! Grammy came up to Lansing with us for... THE WEDDING!

Yes, that is right. My father's wedding took place on 12/18/2010. To make things easier for Amanda and the boys Dad and Jen had the wedding here in Lansing. Actually, they had it in my sister's house.

It was a quick but beautiful ceremony, in the family room. The Christmas decorations made it that much more beautiful. Amanda and I tried to give them a "traditional" wedding on a much smaller scale, since there was only 9 of us counting the boys and Grammy in attendance. Sam and Arlo were ring bearers, Amanda took photos and the rest of looked on. It was emotional and funny... especially when Jen threw her flowers at me... thank goodness for quick reactions or she might have taken an eye out.

Amanda, Matt and I bought some small fingers foods and a smaller version of a wedding cake. Even though it was a second marriage for both and in a living room, we wanted some of the traditions.

As a wedding gift Amanda and I decided to send Dad and Jen to a nice, local, bed and breakfast for their wedding night. We felt that they couldn't get married and then go upstairs to sleep with a 6, 4, and 22 month old running around downstairs. They needed something special.

Of course we couldn't let them drive off without the world knowing they were Just Married...Again!

Dad, Jen and Grammy were here in Lansing about week before the wedding. This was great because Amanda and I were able to get to know Jen. We hadn't been able to spend that much time with her before that. This was also the first time I had family stay with me at my house. My grandmother stayed here. Let's just say, it was a hard adjustment for me. I am not used to having a seven day house guest. Most of our time was spent at Amanda's it was pretty much just nights right before bed, and mornings before we left for Amanda's here.

So my family has left and now it is time to get Christmas celebrating underway. My house is all decorated, fudge is made, presents are wrapped. I think I am finally getting into the holiday spirit. I will post pictures of the house decorated soon. I promise! I just need to take them.

Amanda's in-laws have come into town and will be here through the Holiday. I have (with Amanda's encouragment) decided to throw a New Year's Eve party. She thought a kid-free New Year's party would be fun, and since she can't throw one, she asked me to. This should be fun.

Then about a day after that my roommate returns. We haven't seen eachother in about 6 weeks. Although, it has been nice to have the place to myself, I have missed her and it will be nice to have her back. Once she returns my reality returns.

Work is back to it's normal schedule and with it being January, Kickoff month, team captain meetings will be starting and in a blink of an eye it will be event time. So I am trying to soak in this "down time" while I have it. I have few organizational things I want to take care of here at the house and see Amanda, Matt and the boys as much as I can.



I hope all of you are enjoying this Holiday Season and the family time that comes with it!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Friendship?!

Over the last few months I have been thinking a lot about this subject. Friendship is an amazing, confusing, frustrating and wonderful thing.

When you are young your friends are those who have a toy you want to play with, those who live within walking distance, like the same types of candy or whose parents are willing to babysit. When you are a child a lot of your friends are chosen by your parents. If your parents like their parents an instant friendship is made.

At elementary age you are geting older and you start finding things you enjoy doing. You haven't fully learned yet how to multi-task or schedule your time between multiple things so you (in a way) become obessed with that one thing. From there your friends seem to be those who are also obessed with that one thing. For me it was sports, softball and basketball to be more specific. I found those friends who would carry me through late elementary years, junior high and into high school.

Ahh, high school, the scary, self-conscious, and just out right confusing time of your life. Here you are just begining to figure out who you are, and what you like. This is a time in your life when you are torn between your past and your future.

Your past: those friends who have been with since your parents made your play dates, those friends who also were obessed with that one thing. You still care for the person and the memories, but your likes are starting to take different paths. You start to become torn between the memories and the future ahead.

Your future: those friends who seem to fully understand the person you are starting to become, they understand what you are going through and can listen to your inner most thoughts and not judge you. These are the friends that you see in your future, sitting next to you at graduation, waking up early to say good-bye in your driveway as you drive off to college, visit you at your school in between breaks, and stand next to you at your wedding. These friends share your fears about growing up, and moving on to college.

College comes, right on time, yet too quickly. You are more than ready to "grow up", but not ready to leave those friends you found in high school. You are embarking on a new adventure, new life, new you. You think you know exactly who you are when you enter college. But what you don't know is that college is the place where you finally become loving of and confindent in who you are. College is where you know what you like, what you don't, who you enjoy spending time with and who you don't. You understand that not everyone has to be your friend, that you don't have to like everyone and they don't have to like you... all of this is okay! Here you become more picky about who you spend your time with. You now don't just want them to understand you, you want them to fully get you. They say in college you make "lifetime" friends. I think this is because you have finally learned what to look for in a "friend soul-mate." Much like dating, throughout the years you have learned what works for you and what doesn't, what you need and want in a friend. In college is where you start in impart that wisdom.

Graduation comes and adulthood looms. By now it is harder to make friends. It seems like everyone has their life, has their friends, their circle. In years past everyone was walking that line... that line that leads to adulthood. Lines are easy to intersect and make friends, circles - not so much. But they are still there, those few people who fully get you. It is in adulthood that you learn some friends are meant to come and go, and some will always be around. This is the time of your life when you learn who your true friends really are.

Friendship is it's own kind of love.

Family is chosen for you. You have an unconditional love for them, you take them for granted b/c you know, no matter what they will always be there for you.

Partner/Spouse is a love that never fades, it is always there in someway. You chose this person partly because nature tells you to, because pharamones tell you that you would mate well together. You see a future, a life with them. But you are slightly hesitant because you know this love can diminish, it is a bond brought one slightly by circumstance and slightly by timing. Distance can effect it, time not speaking can effect it.

Friendship is it's own kind of love.

Short friendships exisit throughout your life. You love these people and just because the friendships are short does not mean they were any less valuable. Some people are meant to stay in your life for a short period of time. You needed them when they came into your life (for whatever reason) and you slowly gained your love, appreciation, and knowledge from them.. Then it was time to move on and share all of that somewhere else/with someone else. This is okay, this is the cylce of friendship.

Then there is the lifetime "soul-mate" friendships. You chose this person. You continued to keep them in your life no matter what life throws at you. Distance doesn't fade it. You can go from talking everyday to once every one or two months, but it is like no time at all has passed, you pick up right where you left off. This person is like a family member you have chosen. But in ways it is a healthier relationship. There is no taking this person for granted because deep down you know that they don't HAVE to stick around, but the love seems unconditional. These people are meant to be with you forever. You continue to need them, to lean on them, to learn from them. These people are your true soul-mates!

This is not all exact, people can cross lines, be your lifetime soul-mates, but also your family. That is what friendships is, confusing, frustrating, exhilerating and amazing!

I have been lucky, I have those friends that I have carried with me since elementary, junior high, high school, college and adult life. I have family that I consider great friends. I have those friends I am no longer close with, but with age have been able to reflect on those friendships and fully realize what they taught me.
Different people/friends seem to come into your life and leave your life just at the right times. This seems like it must be choreographed in someway, but it is just the cycle of FRIENDSHIP!

The C word!

So as many of you know I work for the American Cancer Society. I hear the word CANCER on a daily basis. I hear stories of loved ones being diagnosed, loved ones battling, loved ones winning and loved ones losing on a daily basis. I see amazing and beautiful people who give hours upon hours to Fight Back against this disease on a daily basis. I have to tell myself on a daily basis that everything we are doing is working, that HOPE is prevailing.  I dig deep and access my HOPE on a daily basis.

But non of this makes it any eaiser to hear that someone you know and love has been diagnosed with cancer, yet along two people. By hitting one person, this diesease touches many, many towns, many cities, many states, many continents, many people!

What saddens me is that this small 5 letter word has the power to take so much. It takes time, tears, worries, moments, and worst of all HOPE.  Two wonderful people in my life have been hit by this recently. This little word is trying to take my HOPE. A HOPE that I have spent years building, a HOPE that took many stories, that took me meeting many survivors to build.

I will not let this happen. My HOPE is stronger than it has ever been. I am making a vow now, I will not lose my HOPE! I will not let this small word take my worries, my moments! Cancer will NOT hold power in my life.

Cancer, YOU SUCK! This is MY time, MY HOPE and you CANNOT have ANY of it! So why don't you MAKE LIKE A TREE AND LEAVE! 

"We all have the potential to get cancer, and we all have the potential to help cure it." ~This was given to me by a wonderful, beautiful friend and co-worker.

Shingles + exhaustion = Contemplation

Yes it is true, I have come down with an illness that mainly 60 year olds get. Now I haven't really felt sick, the painfulness that everyone speaks of isn't really there either. It is not all over my body, just in one small spot, but the exhaustion is something close to mono. Here all week I thought that I was just unmotivated, tired and maybe even midly depressed. All I wanted to do was stay in bed or on my couch. I felt tired just walking to the kitchen. I knew I had this weird small rash on the right side of stomach. But I never put the two together, until I went to the doctor. She knew right away that it was shingles. I told her I didn't feel sick, then she asked "have you been tired?" A light went off and I responded "exhausted!" Now it was all making sense. She told me to rest this weekend, let my immune system heal itself. So rest I have done. I had to get off the couch for a few hours to run some errands and of course needed to do laundry, strip my bed and pick up a little. Turns out, I can't just sit on the couch. But I have been trying, I even rented two movies to try to make the evening that much easier.

I have been on the couch since 4pm and I am starting to get restless... movie number two is, but my brain is running. I want to get to know more people, I want to entertain, I want to read more books... wait ... yes..that is it... A BOOK CLUB!

I love to read, and I love to be brought out of my comfort zone when reading. I tend to pick up the same kind of book everytime, but if someone else, or a group picked the book then I would read it and make myself finish it. So I have decided to start a book club. Not fully sure who will join with me, or how many books this will last, will it be a weekly thing, monthly thing, bi monthly thing? Maybe have it so each member will have a change to pick the book, if you pick the book you host the club at your house... something like that. I don't know just throwing ideas out there.

Has anyone out there ever hosted a book club? How did it go? Let me know these things.

Pictures....

Pictures of the new house are coming, I promise. For now, to tide people over... I am posting some pictures from a realtor website. These were taken months before I moved it, but you will get the idea of what the place looks like. Hopefully this weekend (since I am not working) I will be able to take some pictures of the place with my stuff actually in it.

So far living here has been fantastic! The idea that I am coming home to a place that is fully mine. Not a place a rent, I can paint, garden, buy furniture for specific areas of the place. Not of this have I actually done, but I could if I wanted to.

So here are the pictures, with more updates to come!

Nope... Just me!

It finally happened! I have officially purchased and moved into my FIRST home. The buying process was relatively simple, although getting a locked in closing date was frustrating and hard. But one finally got locked in and 20 min. before the closing time I was told my total closing costs. Nothing like last minuet.

So for the last week I have been moving in, unpacking and doing house repairs (with some help from my father, of course.). My father came in from Maine and has been doing all sorts of odd jobs around the house. They range from minor plumbing and electrical to cleaning grossness that I wouldn't touch, to hanging pictures. Over all he has been an incredible help. Not too sure how it will feel to be here alone, but I am looking forward to it.

As with every move comes the week or so with no internet, no cable, ipod and radio only. So my sister lent me some DVD's to help with the background noise and entertainment. I started watching all the old episodes of Sex and the City. There is one episode fit my life right now perfectly. For those Sex and the City fans out there you know what one I mean.... "Nope... Just me!"

Since I moved in I keep meeting new people, the neighbors, delivery people, cable people, and the construction people working on the street in front of my house, all of them ask the same thing: when is your family moving in? My response: just like Miranda when she bought her first apartment in Sex and the City, "Nope...Just me!"

I thought this phrase would make me feel empowered, and the first couple of times I did. I would raise my shoulders, stand up a little straighter and say "Nope, just me!"  Then that question kept coming, over and over again... and my response got slower and slower. "Nope. just me." "Nope..just me." "Nope...just me." I know this is a great thing, buying a home on my own is a proud moment. But as this questions continued to be thown at me, I started to wonder, where is my family, my partner?

I know those things will come and I am looking forward to those days. But until I get there, this house is where I will be. I love it here and can't help but be filled with pride when I walk in the front door.
(Pictures of the place to come soon.)

Jam packed July

Wow! July came and went. So much took place that I am not sure where to begin.

I guess to follow up on the cliff-hanger of my last post, I got the house! They accepted my offer and just over a week ago the inspection was done. There were a few minor things that I asked them to fix: 1) the radon levels tested high. So that means that they need to install some type of toxin filter in the basement. 2) In one of the full bathrooms upstairs the diverter valve doesn't work (this is the valve that makes it a shower or a tub). Those two things are getting fixed before we move any further in the process. But they are being worked on as I type this. The next step is to get a bank appraisal. If all appraises fine (which it should) then we close. It is all moving so fast, but I am so excited.

So also in July I turned 30! Yes, that big mile-stone took place. I thought the birthday would be harder than it was. But maybe it was easier because 3 days after I turned 30 I headed off to Vegas. Yes! Vegas baby! My sister, father and best friend from college all chipped in and sent me and Kathy (best friend from college) to Vegas.

Kathy and I in the Bellagio Hotel Lobby.

Kathy and I visited a lot of hotel lobbies, we ate at some great restaurants, and had fun in some night clubs. We were there for a total of 4.5 days. Just enough time. I don't think my body could have handled anymore Vegas. It was very hot (in the low 100's) but that didn't stop us from venturing outside to the pool or walking the strip a few times. I have to say if you have never done Vegas, do it at least once!

The Vegas strip!

After returning home from that vacation I worked 3.5 days and left on a family vacation with my sister and her 3 boys to my Aunt and Uncle's lake house in Virginia. The trip was an 11.5 hour drive and Amanda and I decided to do it over night. The way down that was a great idea. The boys slept, I am a night person so I didn't mind driving then. Amanda took over around 3 am and we arrived in Virginia around 7:30am, just as the boys were waking...perfect. The way back, not so much. We thought they would sleep easily b/c they would be tired from being at the lake and out on the water all day. They fell asleep fast, but didn't stay asleep. 

We stayed there 7 days, split between the lake house in northern NC and my Aunt and Uncle's place in Southern Virginia. The two houses are about 30 min apart. All three of my cousins on that side live in the same town. So we had large family dinners every night. It was great to spend time with all of them. When I lived in NC I saw them a lot more. It had been 2.5 years since I had seen them. So this was a much needed visit. Now that I am closer it will be an annual thing. 

Arlo chillin' in sun glasses

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 The boys loved the lake. They went last year with Amanda and Matt for four days and had a blast. This year we were there longer so they could do a few more things. We also had many days were we just swam and hung out at the dock. But on the days when we got out on the lake, we did it right.

Sam tubing with Camryn and Adam.

 

 

 Pretty much the whole time was fun in the sun with family. Couldn't have asked for a better vacation!

Waiting Game

So it is July 1, 2 days away from my 30th birthday and one of my life goals is one step closer to being complete. I always said that I wanted to own a home by the time I was 30. I might not own one by 30, but I put an offer in today (click on offer to see the house). I have been looking for quite some time. Online looking started back in December, actually taking trips out with my Realtor started sometime in late April. I hadn't really found a place that felt like home to me. Everybody kept saying to me, "Oh you will know when you find it. When it is THE ONE, you will just know." I thought that was a load of crap.

Those sayings have never made sense to me. "You will know the right man instantly, or within a few dates, you will have a feeling about the right wedding dress, you will know the second you enter your home."  I trust my gut on a lot of decisions but I also don't think I will instantly know some of the larger of life's decisions, just like that.

With this house, I kind of did just know. I had looked at it online a few times in December of 09, right after I got offered the job. I started looking at homes to see if I wanted to rent or buy. I found this house. I loved it from the pictures. So when it came time to get serious about looking, I looked for it but I couldn't find the house again. Then one night I was just messing around on some sights and I found it, under contract. :-(  I was bummed, but moved on. Then a few weeks ago I was back to looking online and found it again. I instantly emailed my Realtor and told him I had to see this one. So we went yesterday and saw a few places. I spent an hour looking at this house. I wasn't ready to leave. But we had to go see the others. I spend 1 hour after looking at 6 other houses. They just didn't compare and I didn't need to waste my time. So I had my brother-in-law go back last night and look at it again. And of course, I had to see it again. I came home (after seeing Eclipse of course) and talked it over with him and heard his thoughts. An offer was drawn up this morning around 10am.

The house has a lot of history. It is over 100 years old and has been redone by the state. At one time the house was parceled with the School of Blind here in Lansing. The school was up and running around 1859 and a guesstimate is the house was built around 1870. It was used as the Principal's house. It has since been renovated on the interior, but all the old woodwork/detail, and hard woods are original. The school is now closed and the State owns the campus (almost directly across the street from the school). They are looking to develop it into urban lofts or town homes. But the history is still there and will remain with the house.

So the offer is in, and now we wait. Of course my Realtor and I wanted to get it in before the Holiday weekend, hoping to hear something before then. But you never know and now we wait....and wait....and wait.

Silence and Relay ...

                 The Maine coast line - Walker's Beach - 

5 min drive from where I grew up and my favorite place in Maine.

Amanda, Sam, Arlo and Otis have headed off on a trip to Maine. Matt stayed here, he couldn't get away with work. Yes, she is crazy and we all know this. 3 boys all 6 and under, in a car... oh did I forget to mention she is driving (see crazy) for a two day drive to Maine. She did get a little smarter and brought her babysitter/good friend's daughter with her. Lindsay will help occupy the boys while in the car and watch them once in Maine. This is a great experience for Lindsay, she is 13, traveling away from her parents, through Canada to a state she has never been for 10 days. I am a bit jealous. I love going back to Maine, there are a lot of good friends I miss there. And I love showing new people "my" state. Most of all I am jealous because they are all on vacation during the hardest two weeks of the year at work.

Since I have been living here Matt, and Amanda have taken the boys on trips twice and the quiet has always been welcomed with open arms. Like I stated in my last post, it has been a transition moving in with a family of 5. I knew this time I would be working a lot and I thought what better time for them to go. I could work late hours and not feel bad about not seeing the boys. The past two nights I haven't been home before 8 and once I got home I came straight to my room. But once I am up here I find myself wondering: "Where are they?" " How did the day go?" "What exciting things did they see?" etc...etc.

They really could not have picked a better 10 days to go away. I have back to back Relays. I am quickly approaching my third Relay of the season (tomorrow at 3pm it starts, I start at 10:30am tomorrow). The end of this season feels near yet so far. Last year I had 4 Relays in 3 weekends, it was fast yet furious. I think I like that schedule better. You have no time to think, no time to realize how tired you are, until it is all over. And then it is all over so you can just take a breath and relax.

 Luminaria at a Relay spelling out why we Relay - HOPE

As much as Relays have my heart and my passion. They are exhausting. But it never fails, just when I think I can't go anymore, when I am in a gym after evacuating all participants from the track due to tornado warnings, at 2am and I am ready to call it in and send everyone home, I look up and see a survivor in their purple shirt walking the track, pushing hard. I remember why I got involved, why I do this.

I decided back in March of 2007, 3 months after my mother lost her battle, that I needed to Fight this disease. I needed to fight for all the people, who like my mother, never had a chance or opportunity to fight back because the disease took them too quickly.

Every day at work I have my stresses, I get frustrated, annoyed, and angry. I have heightened emotions because of my love and passion for the cause. I have had plenty of jobs where I didn't care what happened on a daily basis. Here I care!

Tomorrow is the Relay For Life of Mason. This year is a new and exciting year for them. In this, their 13th year, they have changed locations and Relay will be around the town square. I am excited to see this event take place, I am proud of all my volunteers involved in making this transition and I am glad that I will only have one more left at Saturday. WAHOOO!

 

The first luminaria bag I ever made for my mother.

Stop thinking and Jump!

So for quite some time now I have been thinking about writing a blog. My sister, Amanda Grieshop, does it, my cousin, Shannon Stoler, does it so why not me? But I had nothing to blog about. Both Amanda and Shannon started their blog's when they were having their first child. That is NOT happening. I have another friend who started blogging b/c she was engaged and wanted to chronicle the process of planning a wedding. Nope not happening either.
That is when it hit me. Just blog about being me. People may not want to read it, but come on does anyone really blog for others anymore? No! It is about talking about yourself, getting your thoughts out and who really cares if people read it (but please, read it.)

So then came the contemplation of a title. Meg's life sounds egotistical and boring...trust me I live it... boring! When I started to contemplate my life, I found only one thing has been consistent...BIG changes. Changes that I have taken by closing my eyes, holding my breath and just jumping.

First, my move to North Carolina. I lived there for four years, loved most of my time there, made some great friends. Most of whom, I hope, will read this blog.

Second, my move back to Maine. This was a decision that required no thinking at all. When my mom got sick, it was knee jerk reaction that got me there. Once there I made the best of it. It wasn't where I had pictured myself living, but I started to enjoy myself. Again, made some great friends, and reconnected with some old ones, who I hope read this blog.

Third, finding and taking the career of my dreams. Since day one of volunteering for the American Cancer Society I knew working for them was where I needed to be. When the job came open, on paper, it looked like a bad decision. Not much more money, longer hours, further from home (a 1 hour commute, each way) but again, just jumped. And am very glad I did.

Fourth, my final (I hope) move, this time to Michigan. It had been more years than I can count since my sister and I had lived in the same state. An opportunity came up with the American Cancer Society, in the same city she lives in, so I jumped and took it.

I have been here for almost 6 months now and I have really been enjoying myself. To say it was an easy transition would be a lie. The job is great, adjusting to the different ways some things are done has been rough. Going from living alone, to living with a family of 5, rough. Missing my friends, volunteers, co-workers, very rough. Having fun in the park, family walks, t-ball games, spring recitals, Slip 'n' Slide days followed by bed time nights makes every rough patch just a little smoother.

Jump in number five is approaching. I am looking to buy a house. I thought the process would be fun. Looking inside other people's homes, picturing myself there, starting my life. All fun things to do. When you factor in money, down payments, offers, resale, repainting, water in the basement, repairs, two car garages, one car garages, no garages, futures, 30 year futures, predicting the future... it all just gets to be too much. But the dream keeps it going, the idea of living in my own place, being a permanent fixture, painting interiors walls IS an option (without having to repaint all white in less than one year), seeing a place where a future can be built, keeps me going.

As I keep going, I will keep posting. Whoever may be out there... Bueller, Bueller... I hope keeps reading!